It was so wonderful when I first realized you cared. It’s nice to know someone’s got your back, watching over you, keeping you safe. Sigh. But now you’ve become a stalker, taking it a bit too far. You watch my every move, trying to figure out how I’m going to hurt myself and fix things before they’re even a problem. And I kind of have a soft spot for the whole “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness” thing – my happiness, as I see fit.
You see, Governmental Institutions, I’ve begun to see a pattern. I’ve noticed your research isn’t quite up to par. Maybe it’s that you’re blinded by the cash being flashed around up in your neck of the woods. Maybe it’s just doing favors for some buddies of yours. Either way, I’m going to have to ask you to leave me alone and let me live my life my way.
I don’t want fluoride in my water. There’s really no point to it, it doesn’t help prevent cavities, and we both know that. It’s hazardous waste that’s easier to sell than dispose of properly (at great expense). And it’s making my bones brittle, among other things. So thanks, but no thanks.
I’m also having a hard time figuring out why raw milk is illegal in most states. I mean, I can understand if you want to put a label on it. CYA and all that. But illegal? It seems odd that I can legally buy a carton of cigarettes and not a carton of raw milk. Don’t you think that’s just a tiny bit bizarre?
And the whole Fat Is Evil thing. It’s silly now. The evidence is there, but you don’t want to see it. Eating fat doesn’t make me fat. I didn’t get this muffin top eating bacon. I got it eating Little Debbie Nutty Bars and Raspberry Zingers (only 6 grams of fat!) and, well… muffins. I know you’ve heard about this before. You’ve had people come and try to teach you about it, giving you real live evidence and scientific studies, but you just don’t want to believe that Santa isn’t real. It’s time to grow up. You’re not getting a pony for Christmas, and I’m not buying that you have my best interests at heart.
Look, I’m asking you to find someone else, someone that needs a big brother more than I do.
That Writer Broad ;^)